The annual International Day of Peace presents an opportunity to reflect on how we can bring more peace into our lives, our relationships, the community and the world - and it got me thinking.

Our first lessons in peacemaking take root in childhood. What image and words come to mind when you recall how the adults in your life behaved to avoid and resolve conflict?  Not all the lessons were constructive (Fight back! Mind your business! Ignore and forget!)

Injustice and conflict are what happen when we lack skills to create the world we want. Here are a few simple practices you may have missed as a child that will serve you well now no matter what your stage of life.

1.   Start Your Day with Peaceful Intention

In the morning our eyes open to a new day to “get things done.” Our obligations and responsibilities weigh heavily so it is natural to bring them into focus early and often.  What requires more conscious effort is to set the tone for the day we want to have. A simple practice is to set a personal intention first: “I will be mindful today to use my words and actions to reduce conflict and increase peace.”

2.   Be curious rather than confrontational

If in conversation you sense an argument coming on, set out to learn something new and useful rather than be defensive or persuasive. Ask questions like: Can you give me an example of what you mean? Who has influenced your thinking? Do you have a story to illustrate your point?  Practicing this posture is not only a method of self-control it opens a door to relationship instead of building a wall.

3.   Initiate kindness with friends and strangers

This may be the simplest practice of all.  Think about what you’d like to hear to boost your spirits, then offer it to others generously. If you would like to be valued, say to a colleague, “you’re really good at what you do.”  If you would like to feel understood, listen to a friend and say “I get that; I get you.” If you want connection, start a conversation with a stranger, “what’s keeping you up at night these days.”

4.   Look for opportunities to advocate Justice

In every spiritual tradition and culture around the globe, Justice and Peace are intertwined. It is nearly impossible to make peace without acknowledging that every human being deserves to be treated equitably, with fairness, decency and respect. You have a voice. One of the best ways to increase peace is to speak up and out when justice is denied to any individual or group.

5.   Stay alert to peace practices that work and share them with others

With the serious threats facing humanity in the 21st Century, we must be in the mode of lifelong learning when it comes to human relations. The way we manage life-sustaining, natural resources depends on us. The ability of our children to live self-sufficiently without fear depends on us. Peace is not magic; it is purposeful. Peace is not elusive; it is possible.  Peace is not esoteric; it is personal – if you make it so.

In some ways we are all beginners at peacemaking. What personal practices would you like to share so that others in the community can experiment?

Alyson Miller-Greenfield is the Community Host and Publisher of TellYourStory.com.

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